Yes, you have made a decision to move to America. And yes, you did what it takes to get here. Congratulations! Most likely, many from your country tried to come here but failed. However, we can all make mistakes in life. Our decision to come to this country is not immune from being a potential mistake. Whether it becomes or remains a “a mistake” will depend on what we do now, now that we are here.
You may call yourself a newcomer, an immigrant, a refugee, an American or you may still identify yourself mostly strongly with the country of your origin. However you choose to identify yourself, whether you can call yourself a pioneer, depends on your willingness to launch new thoughts and actions. Believing, thinking and acting as you did in your country, may or may not have usefulness here. Your willingness to accept, adapt and change will greatly determine your ability to find the “better life” you came to find. Being an American will not give you lasting satisfaction. Becoming a pioneer will.
This book is not all inclusive or meant to be the final authority on life in America. It doesn’t warn you of all the obstacles, surprises or pitfalls that lie ahead. (Just think of all the surprises your homeland would pose to any newcomer!) However, this book offers some proven strategies that can help prepare you for some major decisions, that can prevent some mistakes, that could save you money, that could solve some problems.
After reading this book, you must seek out as much additional knowledge as possible on all subject areas, not just the once that interest you. There are many sad stories about immigrants who, by not broadening their general knowledge about their new life, got in deep trouble with taxes, failed in their career goals, went bankrupt, and experienced other tragedies. You need to know more than just what is in front of you.
“Dear Pioneer, your decision to move here will most certainly have permanent consequences. I hope your actions lead you to a most satisfying, pioneering life in America.”
Closure
“Without dreams of hope and pride a man will die. Though his flesh still moves, his heart sleeps in the grave...”—song clip, Chuck Mangione
Psychologists believe that the basic necessities of a human being include security, recognition, control over one’s life, and a need for creative expression and new experiences. (M. Scott Peck, 1978.) In my country of origin, Lithuania, the people had been violated by the Soviet occupation in every basic human necessity, and not just for a day, or a week, but for 50 years. There was no freedom to experience, to speak the truth, to create what you want, to live on your own terms.
Perhaps your country was violated in one way or another. Perhaps that’s why you are here. Perhaps you have come to America angry about having to start all over. If that is the case, you will want to have closure on those feelings. It won’t help you to keep blaming someone else and to keep waiting for things to get better in your country so you can go back. You are here now. If your thoughts are always there, how can you achieve success here? In the words of Barry Tuckwell, a successful, Australian-born musician and a new U.S. citizen, “It’s like getting married. If you’re going to be in a country, don’t do it with your suitcase packed.” (Baltimore Sun, 1996.)
Try not to live your life one foot in America, one foot in your homeland. Of course, you will never forget your country or the relatives that still remain there. You can stay in touch by letters, phone calls, occasional visits, but when you are here, be here. Your strong feelings about your past could be fuel for many positive pursuits in America, even pursuits that could help your country or remaining family.
America—The Second GlanceThe initial first glance at America could be called the “honeymoon period.” During this period, which can last for many months, you enjoy your travel, meeting with relatives and friends, often being taken care of, finding many things so different and interesting. In spite of any language difficulties and many adjustments, it is similar to a vacation.
This honeymoon period is often the biggest enticement for visitors to stay here. They come on a tourist visa. They get a taste of American life. It is fun, it is new, any old troubles seem so far away, relatives are paying attention to them. The sheer experience of being in a new place makes people feel fresh, alive, involved, important.
But soon reality sets in—the second glance. Probably the second year in America is one of the toughest, emotionally, financially, and physically. By now, the newcomer could have experienced rudeness, would have struggled to find work, would often have put on weight from American food, would have realized the difficulty of trying to communicate without fluency in English, and would have definitely had episodes of loneliness and even depression. The original relationships established in America could become more distant. The anticipations from relatives back home, that instance success can be achieved in America, could create additional pressure.
For many immigrants, the language barrier is naturally very difficult to overcome. But probably the biggest barrier will be psychological. You can truly feel alone here. You have left all your friends, family, the streets that you are accustomed to, the “system” that you know. Everything is different here—customs, traditions, beliefs, behavior. You have to make big changes in the way you think and act.
So what does the newcomer start noticing about America? That some people have a lot, and others are homeless. That, like in their own country, there are good people and bad people. That their relatives or friends who helped them at first, just can’t continue to do so. That life in America is not as organized as they thought. In fact, that many things just don’t make sense. That there are more questions than answers.
In Lithuania, my stepfather was a lawyer and my mother a dermatologist. When they came to America, they made many contacts, had people that helped, and still they could not find good employment for many years. They had to completely start over—new language, new education, new careers. Eventually, they found satisfying work and now they are retired.
My sister, brother, and I also had a difficult time. At school we were teased by American children. We were different, could not speak English well, didn’t fit in. We wanted to be like American children, but our parents wanted to keep us like Lithuanian children. With time, we adapted to our new environment, learned English, received good grades in school, made good friends. Nothing was easy, however.
The second glance at America can last for many years and can be very discouraging. You may begin to question whether you made the right decision to come here. You may have doubts. This is a dangerous time to make any decisions to go back. Hold off that decision until the third glance.
America—The Third Glance
“One cannot be an American by going about saying that one is an American. It is necessary to feel America, like America, love America and then work.”—Georgia O’ Keeffe
No country is perfect. But in spite of America’s imperfections, it is still one country in the world where an individual can achieve the “impossible.” Immigrants have been beating the odds for generations, achieving success despite so many obstacles.
Now, you have also done it. You are here, in America, “the land of opportunity.” Will you be satisfied with your decision? Satisfied with your new life? I personally know that you can be.
According to U.S. Census figures, 25 million people who live in America were not born in America. Nearly one resident in 10 is from another country. In the next 10 years, another 9 million legal immigrants will arrive here. Many will certainly come with ambition, hungry for success, eager to learn, willing to challenge, compete with, and work with Americans. That should not intimidate you, if you prepare adequately.
I would like to close this section with the words of newly-established immigrants from Russia, Vladimir and Dora Ponomareva. Dora says: “...when I wake up every morning I say—Thank God I’m here.” (Baltimore Sun, 1995.) They have found work, have bought a home, have started a very satisfying new life
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